Can I tell you a secret? Earlier this week, while I was folding laundry, I started daydreaming about becoming a freelance photographer. I imagined myself shooting pastries in small cafés and capturing congested kitchens in local restaurants. I imagined myself staying up late to edit. I imagined putting together a legitimate portfolio.
And then the voice of reason spoke up: hey, remember those two shops that you spend 50+ hours a week tending to? Remember that novel you keep trying to write? And the house you always need to clean?
It's difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that I can't do everything I want to. There aren't enough hours in the day, and I just don't have that much energy. And the other thing? I've always wanted to be someone who is fully dedicated to just one craft. I like the purity of that.
The point of this post? I guess I just wanted to tell you that even though things might always appear fine and dandy on this blog, I have struggles like anyone else, creatively and otherwise. I hope I never give off the impression that I have a perfect life. My reason for blogging has always been to share things that I think are beautiful. But maybe it's possible to keep doing that while being a little more personal? I don't know the answer to that yet. So, let's just try it and see.
Yesterday afternoon, I was planning on shooting some new kitchen products, but I ended up photographing these flowers instead. It occurred to me that there were leftover packs of instant film from our wedding just sitting in our bedroom closet, so I dug those out, too. Maybe this fragment of a dream will go nowhere. At the very worst, I'll just be stuck with a bunch of photos of my life. And that's not a bad problem to have.
